Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
