Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
