Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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