This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
