Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
