Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
