So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
false alarm. still invincible.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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