She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
