no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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