we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
