if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
