his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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