I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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