Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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