i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
