Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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