I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize