i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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