whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
