i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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