This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
