If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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