Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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