He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
