Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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