Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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