There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
