When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
