He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
