So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
