i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
