one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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