i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
