See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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