So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
