apparently the secret to your success is patron
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
