You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
