He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
