But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
