I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
