we have officially mastered the walk of shame
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize