nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
