That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Bring me that man meat
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
