If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
