I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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