Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
