Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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