Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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