alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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