He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
