the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
