He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
