So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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