those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
