thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
pop tarts are not kleenex
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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