Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
