the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
