The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
