I just pynch a tree in the face
Quick, to the slutcave!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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