the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
