Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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