We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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